Author: The Stoner Mom

The Stoner Mom Show: Quickie Session with SHATTER!

Today’s episode of The Stoner Mom Show features my first experience with shatter. It’s super potent and I was really too stoned to make a proper video. Also, my husband makes a rather… loud appearance. The Stoner Mom Show has a new schedule: New videos will go up Thursdays through the weekends. So, no more videos on Tuesdays. Later...

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Cannabis Strain Review: Golden Goat- Baaa

  Golden Goat Hybrid- Sativa Dominant Genetics: Hawaiian-Romulan X Island Sweet Skunk This strain has been a stoner mom favorite since the first time it hit my brain. Golden Goat offers a total attitude adjustment because of its immediate head high. As such, it’s a strain that works beautifully in the daytime. Comparable in its energy levels to another personal favorite, Snowcap. This strain has a somewhat diesely aroma and a mild, semi-sweet taste. Like the best of hybrids, Golden Goat starts your journey on a super energetic and extremely focused high. After about 45 minutes it settles into its...

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My Favorite Strains: The Stoner Mom Show

Good morning my happy stoner friends! Here is today’s episode of The Stoner Mom Show. Today’s topic is my personal favorite strains. Every stoner has a favorite type of herb to smoke up on, and mine are all listed in the video. Special guest appearance by Max the dog. Oh, and I also smoke a bunch of Permafrost. Q&A: What are your favorite strains? Mommy stoners specifically; what strains can you always count on to help you take on the task of...

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Important Update on an Old Problem: How not to treat a woman at a DUI checkpoint

2015 Edit: The following post was originally published right after a run in at a DUI checkpoint here in Colorado. That incident has resulted in serious legal implications for my gorgeous bestie. Please visit BFF’s page to read her perspective and learn what is at stake. We are NOT advocating driving while under intoxicated. We are hoping to further research into the important topic of medical marijuana tolerance and intoxication. Holding medical marijuana users to the same levels as recreational users is comparing apples to oranges; it simply isn’t fair.  The BFF has started a gofundme page to help...

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Weed Can Make You A Better Mom

What if I told you smoking weed can make you a better parent? It’s no secret I believe that pot gives mothers super powers, and I know what I’m talking about. Having done the parenting thing both ways (stick up ass method and stoner mom method) I speak as a stoned authority on this. A Jolt of Energy to Rival your Favorite Cappuccino Getting stoned along with our morning stimulant is a first world luxury. There is nothing as soothing, calming, and yet energizing, as a morning combo of pot and coffee. One of my earliest discoveries in the stoner world...

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It’s Motivational Monday Motherf*cker! When I Schooled A Youngin on Xbox.

I discovered this Tyler, The Creator jam while play GTAV. The song Garbage plays on the in-game FlyLo station. A story about a drug dealer evolving into a killer, it’s perfect for the game where you are often involved in drug crime. Which reminds me. Last Friday I was playing GTAV Online. Now, I’m a quiet player. I wear the headphones but I rarely say a thing. Because you know. Trolls and stuff. But this time there was an extremely arrogant male lecturing the entire lobby about… honestly I don’t know what, but it was racist as fuck. He was basically...

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Stoner Mom Diaries- Little Girls, Allergies, Enjoying Retirement

  June 12, 2015 Keeping up on my (current) commitment to taking more pictures of my life, I put the girls in dresses, and dragged them down the street to a picturesque grassy knoll. Little did I know they would both be overcome with allergies the moment they stepped on the grass. I would get them all set up, say ‘smile’ only to see them both shoving their fists in their eyeballs and rubbing. Smiling through tears and blowing noses into their sweaters. Good lord.   I cracked a joke about the torture I was putting them through and they...

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Motivational Monday Motherf*cker! She Knows

If you’ve watched the last Weekend Wake and Bake you’ve heard J.Cole’s She Knows on repeat. I’m one of those people who obsesses over music- I listen to albums from beginning to end until the entire thing is understood and enjoyed. I do the same thing for individual songs, focusing in particular on lyrics and meaning. I’m currently obsessing on this one. The video is so cool too, I can remember days exactly like that- minus finding my mom having an affair. Damned if I do Damned if I don’t I’m passing up on bad hoes Trying to be...

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Stoner Mom Diaries: Scenes from Summer

I’m trying to get back into the habit of taking pictures of my family. The divorce threw a monkey wrench in my personal photography game, taking away my confidence in documenting their lives. You know me, always trying to be respectful of them. Sensitive to their identities and such. Well, it’s been like two years now so I think I can go back to my old traumatizing, paparazzi ways. Summer kicked off with the end of school. This years milestone was my youngest graduating Kindergarten at her prestigious school for advanced academics. She is my baby and I am deeply...

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Weekend Wake and Bake

Join me while I get stoned this morning. In this video I’m enjoying Golden Goat and Durban Poison, and do the usual rambling....

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The Stoner Mom Show: Stoner Session #9 Plus Interview of a Five-Year-Old

Oh my goodness it’s late but I did it! Today’s episode of The Stoner Mom Show is up on my YouTube Channel. This one is a little different, my kids were home so I had to sneak around for my Wake and Bake session. I grabbed my new Diamond Glass Matrix bong and hid in the closet for a quick bowl of Headband. I also do this fun interview with my five-year old. These questions have gone around for years, the best ones are when you ask them the same questions every year. If you’d like to interview your...

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The Stoner Mom Show: In Which The Stoner Mom Explains Herself

Good morning beautiful stoners! I hope everybody is enjoying this beautiful Colorado spring. It’s the time of year when toking up outdoors simply has to be done, so I encourage you all to load your bongs, grab a joint, and get high outside. Today’s post directs you to the latest episode of The Stoner Mom Show. In this one I do the unthinkable and TALK! Baby steps guys, baby steps. In this show I get nice and high and then explain the who, what, where, when, and why, about me, The Stoner Mom. Enjoy lovelies!...

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The Stoner Mom’s Official Summer Drink

Good morning my wonderful readers! Today I am in an especially happy mood because it’s official! Summer! Kids are out of school and it’s time to slow down for a few months and enjoy life! For the next few months the rhythm of our everyday will change, and I think it’s important to acknowledge that. With liquor. Yes, The Stoner Mom does indulge in alcohol occasionally. Very, very occasionally. In the past I have had a great appreciation for good liquor and wine. Since I have become a stoner I’ve had very little desire to drink. The negative effects...

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Motivational Monday Motherf*cker! Sexy Times Await

Festishes. Everyone has them. That one (or several) thing/s that turns you on. It’s unique to each person. Some things just get you. For men, it’s probably the obvious stuff; boobs, feet, ass. For women there are “experiences” that get you. Scents, situations, or the memories associated with the dresses hanging in her closet. For me, I’ve always had a thing for nice hotels. High priced cocktails and anticipation building in sparkling elevators. J. Cole’s “Lights Please” somehow captures the need for sex, the complex emotions and complications of affairs. For that it’s a song that inspires certain “feelings”...

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The Stoner Mom Show: Cleaning the Bongs

Hiya my lovely readers! First, some business: I have retitled my short stoner videos to The Stoner Mom Show. The Stoner Mom Show is a weekly show with new episodes posted every Tuesday and Thursday. You can find The Stoner Mom Show here on the website and on The Stoner Mom YouTube Channel.  In today’s video I show you my easy technique for cleaning my bongs. And since you can’t clean a bong without immediately dirtying it up again, I get stoned right after the cleaning process. Oh, and the hubby makes a few funny appearances too. A lot of great...

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Motivational Monday MotherF*cker! Three Thousand and Five

Happiest of mornings my hot stoner moms!  Todays jam has been on repeat in the Stoner Mom minivan. 3005 from Childish Gambino. Depressing lines over a deceptively happy beat pretty much equals a jam that I will like. I used to care what people thought, but now I care more I mean, nobody out here’s got it figured out So therefore, I’ve lost all hope of a happy ending Depending on whether or not it’s worth it, so insecure, no one’s perfect We spend it with no shame, we blow that like Coltrane We in here like Rogaine, or...

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Lazy and Depressed: The Plight of the Stoner

Does Frequent Marijuana Use Promote Depression? I had to laugh the other day when I had TWO conflicting headlines in my news feed: Marijuana Linked to Depression, and Pot Can Relieve Anxiety and Depression. So, which is it? Does marijuana help depression or does it cause it? If it makes us all so depressed why is the most commonly reported reason for marijuana use “stress relief”? Since I’ve started thestonermom.com I’ve received many emails from moms using cannabis to relax and keep a handle on their anxiety and depression, just like I do. Are we all wrong? Are we all making ourselves sicker? My Fight With Depression I have had a major depressive disorder since puberty. In my early 20’s I started dealing with anxiety attacks as well. In the past my anxiety could get so bad that I would be incapable of driving. Terror of the unknown would ruin many attempts to get out and do stuff. My depression was equally debilitating. A despair that would make me lash out. A hollow feeling in my stomach of complete meaninglessness. I would have depressive episodes that would leave me in bed with the door locked, crying silent tears as I stared out into nothingness. Shortly after the birth of my first child I went on anti-anxiety and anti-depressant medications. They work wonders and my anxiety problems have been gone for...

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Cannabis Strain Review: Headband, It’s Your Daytime Fuel

  Headband Sativa Dominant Hybrid OG Kush x Sour Diesel Headband, with its dense buds and floral sweet scent, has quickly become a personal favorite strain for daytime. Potent and extremely heady, Headband gets its name from the “halo” effect that it produces on the crown of ones skull, a prickling sensation that makes you think “yes! stoned!” Very therapeutic, an excellent cannabis strain for pain relief and anxiety. Headband makes for a very happy and energetic high. It is very cerebral, centering squarely in the brain and leading to hilarious conversation. This is a lovely cannabis strain for social...

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Video Time! Stoner Sesh #8

Good morning my wonderful readers! My 8th Stoner Sesh is up and in this video  am enjoying Durban Poison and Blue Widow in two bongs. I get preeetty high in this one. I also do some incoherent babbling. If you enjoy this video head on over to my YouTube channel for more Stoner Sessions and product reviews....

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Motivational Monday MotherF*cker!- Bad Girls Do it Well

Okay, I have to admit, I’ve got a major M.I.A. crush. Girlfriend is basically the coolest Mom I have ever laid eyes on (Betty Draper gets second place). Remember that time she performed at the Grammy’s on her DUE DATE?! On my due dates I was so swollen my husband had to put my shoes on for me. You could not have paid me enough money to waddle in front of the nation and perform anything. Here’s the pregnant performance. Just watch the beginning, everyone else besides M.I.A. sucks balls in this performance. No one can upstage a Sri Lankan...

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