Author: The Stoner Mom

Veterans Day

  Marijuana IS Medicine Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance. -George Bernard Shaw Happy Veterans day stoners! This is the day when I encourage stoners to give a veteran a joint. I think that’s a pretty awesome way to brighten someone’s day, don’t you? There are a lot of reasons veterans deserve the right to access cannabis. It’s a healthy treatment for a variety of medical issues, but sadly this is still not public knowledge, making medical users feel ashamed of their medication. With the DEA Chief in the news, singling out every American that...

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Motivational Monday You Bitches

What’s up Stoners!  The Stoner Mom Playlist is here to help you moms out there listen to something that may be new to you. Because I feel for moms that don’t get to listen to what they want to, once the days set in of listening to fairytales, clean disney stars, Katy Perry, and the rest of the questionable musical choices young children will make. David was listening to this amazing remix of A Milli last week and I loved it so much, I had to share. As I wrote in this Motivational Monday post, this is one of...

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Various Things: A Friday Diversion By The Stoner Mom

      November 6, 2015 Oh dear lord the weekend is here. It has been a long week for The Stoner Mom. Both girls had strep. They’ve never had strep before, I have never had strep. They really lucked out, and got some strange form where they didn’t really present symptoms. But I had them both tested and it was. So there were lots of days home with little ones, ie: not smoking weed. Sad emoticon. So sad. But now it’s Friday, the girls will go with their dad for three days, and I will not be responsible for...

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Marijuana Safety Tips for Stoner Parents

Marijuana Safety Tips for Parents  Marijuana in the household poses about as much danger as beer, medicines, cleaning products or poinsettias. Using common sense when handling and storing your pot will go a long way in ensuring your child’s safety. Today I’m sharing some personal tips on how I keep my kids safe from my weed and my weed stash safe from kids. My stash is kinda like a fifth kid, now that I think about it. 10 Tips to Help Keep your Pot Stash Safe from your Kid Establish clear boundaries in your household regarding rooms, personal property,...

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The Stoner Mom Diaries- Happy Halloween!

The Stoner Mom’s Least Favorite Holiday For the first time in 9 years I was child-free this Halloween. Gotta say, I didn’t miss it very much. Halloween is my least favorite holiday, mostly because of the ten tons of candy. I’ve also never been a fan of walking around in the cold at night, less so of bringing little kids out in the cold! So yes, the fact that it was just the hubby and I this Halloween was not too much of a bummer. But I did have to see the girls dressed up, so I made them try...

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The Stoned Entrepreneur

A Stay-at-Home Stoner Mom I was never meant to work for other people. I learned this early in life, when I found myself in various jobs, secretly loathing any and all form of authority. Other people making my schedule? Yuck. When I first became a mother I was fortunate enough to be able to quit working. Over the next few years I watched my little family grow, my babies develop into children, while I also developed as a photographer. Two years into the stay-at-home thing, I started a photography business. I took a lot of pleasure in building an online following that...

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Motivational Monday: G.O.M.D.

Happy Monday Stoners! I’m getting a lot of traffic from newcomers so I’d like to say a special ‘hi’ to you that are new to The Stoner Mom. This is Motivational Monday, where I try to instill a little groove in your mom’s music rotation. See, I love rap music. I love it so, so, much. And what I think is kinda special/funny, is that I did not develop this passion until my late 20’s. I mean, I always liked a lot of popular rap, dance tracks that made TRL and stuff. But it wasn’t until my, ahem, early-midlife-crisis, that...

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Stoner Mom Diaries: On Being Afraid

The best way to get over the fear of doing something, is doing that thing. In Which The Stoner Mom Falls Short. I owe you an apology. I have promised you regular content and have delivered far short of that promise. I won’t bore you with excuses. Obviously you all know I’m busy, and stoned a lot. I don’t apologize for those things. What I am apologizing for, is for being afraid. Perfectionism is not always a good thing. I learned this in therapy during my early ‘midlife crisis’. The fear of being imperfect holds me back. In big ways, but...

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How To Use a Bong: The Stoner Mom Guide to Bongs

That Moment you need to Perform a Bong Hit in Front of Others and Realize how Lame and Old you are. In the summer of 2012 I found myself in a Boulder, Colorado parking garage, holding a huge bong in my hands and getting ready to attempt my first “rip”. Ever self-conscious, I insisted my companions not watch me. While also requesting that they light the bowl and pull it out at the proper time. I was 29, a mother of two, and convinced I looked absolutely ridiculous. Using a bong can be intimidating for the uninitiated. Big and...

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Fool me Twice… uh, Can’t Fool Me Again

… it’s Motivational Monday Motherfucker! Fool me one time, shame on you Fool me twice, can’t put the blame on you Fool me three times, fuck the peace signs Load the chopper, let it rain on you I love this song, not a little because of the amazing George Bush interlude (trust me, just click play above, I’ve got it lined up for you), but because of a maturing man learning what he wants in life. And it ain’t no Kim. I want a real love, dark skinned Aunt Viv love That Jada and that Will love That leave...

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Various Things, October 2, 2015

    October 2, 2015 Reads of the Week Why Beef is the New SUV (this article made me LOL) One byproduct of this magical digestive process, however, is methane. An average cow in North America, raised in a feedlot, belches out 117 pounds (53 kilograms) of this stuff per year, according to 2006 guidelines from the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change. Pigs and chickens don’t do that. House Leader resigns after texting sexually explicit video of himself cheating on wife to everyone on his “Contacts” list– Ha! It would be funnier if their decisions didn’t affect citizens. The End...

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Growing Weed in the Backyard

Pictures from our Easy Outdoor Weed Grow There is some beautiful Durban Poison maturing in the backyard, and it’s almost ready to be cut down. I can take no credit in any of the marijuana growing that goes on over here. It’s purely the hubby, on his own, without the complication of being a stoner, growing medicine for his crazy wifey. He found this gnome at his favorite garden store and brought it home triumphantly, noting its badass gaze and weapon-like stick. The perfect gardening companion for my man. The cannabis itself all came from seed and is all...

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The Stoner Mom House Tour

Happy Friday dear ones! No Various Things today, but I do have something special. Today’s video is my first video tour of my house. I say first, because I am planning on making some rad changes (pretty minor but fun nonetheless), and will surely be documenting those as they happen. So todays video is a “before” of sorts. Join The Dank, a Newsletter that doesn’t Suck * indicates required Name Email Address * View previous...

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EDC- The Stoner Mom’s Everyday Carry

The Stoner Mom’s Everyday Carry Everyday Carry is one of the many blogs that I love following for daily inspiration. Peeking into the purses and pockets of various professionals is a delight for the voyeur. When attempting to record my everyday carry, I realized I have more than one kind of “carry”. The bag I carry depends on what I need to have at hand that day, so there are a few different scenarios. During the school year I spend a lot of time in my minivan either shuttling kids around or waiting for them to get out of some activity, so...

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Motivational Monday Motherf*cker! Roll Up

This is probably going to out me as a total geek, but this song makes me tear up. Yes. I know. But here is why. I fell in love with this old album around the time I was seriously considering divorce. The midlife crisis days. I was dragging my feet on it, and people were waiting for me to make a decision. I was being pursued quite aggressively by not one but two older men, men I had known for years and loved, in some way or another. And maybe it sounds bizarre, but every day hurt. I had a feeling of...

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Various Things: September 18 2015

September 18, 2015 Reads of the Week A Top Chef Winner’s Pot Dinner– Ooh la la. Weed is becoming so high brow these days. I dig it. Road Fatalities in Colorado have Plummeted Since Marijuana Was Legalized. – An easy to understand article on why marijuana and driving laws are a totally un-researched. The problem with these criticisms is that we can test only for the presence of marijuana metabolites, not for inebriation. Metabolites can linger in the body for days after the drug’s effects wear off — sometimes even for weeks. Because we all metabolize drugs differently (and at different...

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Insta-Hash

Why Husband is the Flyist So the other day I had sequestered myself up in my bedroom and the husband rushes in excitedly. With dry ice. Something about this man, he just can’t sit still.  No matter how hard he has worked, how late his baby kept him awake, how long he was at the office… he always has to be doing something for me or the house. Anyway, if you follow me on IG or MassRoots you’ve seen his amazing experiment making dry ice bubble hash. At his weekly visit to the grow store his buddies show him...

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How to use RAW pre-rolled Rolling Paper Cones or; The Easiest Possible Way to Roll a Joint

How to Use RAW Pre-Rolled Rolling Paper Cones (Because Moms Don’t Know How to Roll Joints) My history with joints and blunts has included everything from pages torn from a Bible to buying exotic wax and kief filled prerolls from legal dispensaries. I remember back in 2003, Googling “how to roll a joint” in my shitty Boston apartment. Somehow patching together a crinkly, spit upon wannabe joint. That was my last experience with weed for many years. Fast forward to today and I can buy a preroll down the street, or, as I have recently discovered, use a Raw rolling paper...

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I’m So Bossy, Bitch Get Off Me. It’s Motivational Monday Motherfu*ker!

Numbers on the Boards from Pusha T has quite possibly the dopest beat ever. Hubby and I are both addicted to weird robotic or machine-like sounds in our music so of course this song has become a favorite between us. Put this one on after you drop off the kids in the morning Chill beat, clunky robot thumps, wordplay like whoa, self-prasing bravado, Numbers on the Boards is a perfect cruising song. Gaawwd. How could you relate when you ain’t never been great? And rely on rap money to keep food up on your plates, nigga? I might sell a...

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Weed For Beginners: The Basics Behind Getting Stoned

Every Stoner Has To Start Somewhere The purpose of this blog is to shine the spotlight on a silent demographic: the stay-at-home, suburban, stoner-mom (and dad!) set. Marijuana use for the middle-aged and middle-class is quickly shedding any taboo status. I believe more and more moms on the sidelines at soccer practice will be willing to admit that a discreet bong rip is often preferable to the socially accepted glass(es) of wine. And I’m not alone in believing this. Marijuana is legal in some form or another in 23 states and the District of Columbia. On a federal level, legislature has...

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