Lessons in Adulting: Stream of Consciousness thoughts on Love Lost

My therapist gave me some really wonderful insight once. When I was hopelessly torn and suffering from romantic loss, she told me that our lives great loves are chapters in a book. They aren’t the story. And we love to reread favorite books, to reminisce about those nights and moments. It’s okay to do that, but when we are done we close it and put it away. Even though it made us feel things. Even though it made us cry.

I was getting over a very meaningful love affair that had been fraught with indecision and unknowing. I had never foreseen that there would be a day I would have to end it. To say goodbye. So I kept prolonging it, dragging my feet. Another fault of mine, being unable to end relationships properly. But my therapist helped me to gracefully celebrate that relationship for what it was, which makes coming to terms with the end of it easier.

I loved that. I loved it because I’m the girl who can’t hurt anybody and so therefore hurts everyone. But something about her explaining how that deception at the end, the foot-dragging, it tarnishes what you had, and that’s not fair to either of you. End on a high note, you know? And so, lessons in adulting.

Our love was lost
in the rubble are all the things
that you’ve been dreaming of
keep me in mind
when you’re ready
I am here
to take you every time

There was a moment, long ago, when I realized with absolute certainty that I needed to be loved in a different way. I was on an airplane, flying from Chicago back home to Denver, and my head was absolutely swimming. With every minute that plane got closer to my married life, I found myself filled with equal parts dread and exhilaration. And I just knew. I just knew this wasn’t how marriage was supposed to feel.

On that airplane I wore headphones and I listened to this Temper Trap song (above), staring silently out the window. And I thought of how many times I had lost love, only to find it again.

If adorable nerd boys doing choreographed exercise dances is your thing, please watch the above video. Or, if robot sounds are more your thing, here is a bad ass remix of Love Lost, much less lovey, but very bass droppy.

Here’s What’s Coming Up This Week:

  • Tuesday- Lucky Charms Review- I love this strain
  • Wednesday- How to be an AWESOME second wife
  • Thursday- Stashlogix write-up. I have discovered my favorite stash bags and had to share them with you!
  • Friday- New video cleaning the Fez walkthru
  • I’m giving away a Fez! Details to come.