Be Young, Be Dope, Be Proud

Happy Monday stoners! Today is July 4th, so I assume the Americans that follow me will be taking the day off and getting their patriotism on. Which reminds me of yet another favorite Lana del Rey song, American.

You make me crazy, you make me wild
Just like a baby, spin me ’round like a child

Your skin so gold and brown
Be young, be dope, be proud
Like an American
Like an American

“Be young, be dope, be proud. Like an American” is one of my favorite Lana del Rey lines. She’s full of lyrics that worm their way into an empty spot in my brain. But that one is just such ear and eye candy, I’d like it on a wall in my house.

And as always, I have to find a corresponding remix of the song, because nothing makes me happier than Lana-tracks-turned-epic-dance-tracks. 

Adventures with Circular Saws

Last weekend David cut his hand with a circular saw, requiring a trip to the emergency room and 14 stitches. The blade went deep enough to fracture the bone. Thank god he had the sense to do it on a day when we didn’t have children with us.

I talk about his physical prowess a lot, which maybe seems a little weird? That old beast? But David is exceedingly strong and proves it constantly. I honestly take it for granted. Anyway, on the way to the ER, I told him to hold the wound as tight as he could, to stop the bleeding. And by the time we got to the ER the attendant was like whoa, that’s a strong grip, you stopped the bleeding… 

Managing the Troops

Also, I’m in the middle of our summer camp at home with all my kiddos. Balancing the emotions of my four-year-old stepdaughter who is quite needy, with my six-year-old who is also quite needy. Being everything for everyone. It gets tough but they are both getting better about it. And with each summer I am learning more and more how to balance the four of them.

Last Friday I took Elizabeth to see Finding Dory, just me and her. Scheduling individual “Mom and me” dates are a tool for managing some of the emotional needs of my daughters, post-divorce. Anyway, the movie was quite cute, and I marveled on how easy it was to do with one child as opposed to four, or even two.!


The fourth of July is a stoner holiday, no doubt. What goes better with a great high than a magnificent city firework display? Look, if your trashy neighbors can spend their holiday drinking Pabst in the driveway, then I think you’ve got plenty room to join them with a joint. Let’s make some neighborhood friends this holiday!

Stoned Ways to Celebrate Independence:

  • Open the garage, light up a fat blunt, and see if any neighbors come to join
  • Stoned fireworks watching
  • Stoned grilling (advanced stoners only please. We’d like you to keep your eyebrows)
  • Stoned house projects
  • Stoned block party- not putting one on, but attending one stoned. Best time ever.
  • Stoned hiking (again, advanced stoners only)
  • Stoned camping? I wouldn’t know, I’m not a camping type of girl. But I do love a night on the back deck, with my love and his hand-cast, watching the fireworks from the city park behind our neighborhood. Listening to the people parking along our street for the view. And bringing out a large, clean bong, and hitting it for all the state to see. God bless America! 

Motivational Monday (sometimes Tuesday hehe) is The Stoner Mom’s weekly music post dedicated to introducing moms to some non-dorky jams. Or maybe it’s just an excuse for The Stoner Mom to listen to her favorite jams? In 2015 I highlighted my favorite rap songs. This year I’m covering my all-time favorite songs.


The Stoner Mom is a pulled-together, WAHM, SAHM, boo-boo kissing supermom. Most would assume she is not stoned. Most would be quite wrong.

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