Oh, guys. I know. I’ve been so absent lately. I’ve been so out of it. I swear it’s not because of anything bad. I’m just so ready for a vacation. And I kind of can’t believe that I actually have one coming up.

When something big is happening, looming in the future, I kind of shut down. I go into… hibernation. It’s like I’m trying to speed up time through sheer force of will. I focus on that one thing and switch on autopilot for everything else.

The long and short of it is, travel stresses me out enormously and when I’m stressed out I tend to check out from everything outside of my home. Everything. So that happened, for the past few weeks. I’ll ignore friends and emails and phone calls. I don’t check into social media. I avoid the internet.

In the past when travel would frighten me I would resort to planning out every hour of the upcoming trip, in an obsessive way, and then crying when the trip didn’t go exactly as planned. I would pack my luggage a week ahead of time, toiletries included. I would have to dig my toothbrush out of my bag and I wasn’t even on the trip yet. Once when I was 19 a coworker found me sketching out outfits I would wear in Europe, drawing all the configurations. And she made fun of me. So yeah. I guess I’m a little nuts.



David and I never had a honeymoon. That second marriage you know, you feel less free to act a fool, wear the white dress, register for appliances, etc. With all our kids integrating into a new blended lifestyle it seemed selfish and unnecessary to take any time at all away from them.

But that time is passed. It’s so strange. You spend all of these years as an at-home mom, adjusting to a new, child focused lifestyle. By the time you get used to it they are older and ready for you to give them space, and you find yourself at a loss as to what to do in the empty hours that you used to spend on the floor, playing and rolling with little ones. I’m still majorly adjusting to this. My daughters like to spend a lot of time playing in their rooms by themselves, and it is so difficult for me to stay out.  I remember the girl I was at their age. The girl who played barbies and paper dolls alone in her room for hours. I never felt unloved by my mother when I was in my room and she was in hers…. I don’t know why this is such an issue for me now that I’m a mom.

Anyway. This upcoming vacation is timed with their summer vacation with their dad, so I’m not missing out on anything. If I stayed home I would just be home alone. And so, there are no excuses.

I Thought I had Kicked the Travel Bug

When I was 17 I went to The Philippines with my Mom. Then after I became engaged to my first husband we went to Europe for two weeks. I saw Spain and Italy and Switzerland and France. I’ve been on various vacations in Mexico. I’ve been to most major US cities (but not New York! WTF?!). In my 20’s I flew a lot.

But then I blinked and had two kids and the idea of flying with them is not exactly tempting. The last time I flew was probably to Texas in 2014 and it was the worst. My plane was delayed, I was alone with the girls and their many things, I ended up boarding close to midnight with a passed out five-year-old in my arms and kind strangers carrying my bags. Got back to Denver around 2am and I was like, never again!!!

Big Island here I come!

The reason I picked Hawaii again is because I want as direct a flight as I can get, and I have no interest in Oahu. The Big Island is so huge and empty and quiet. It has two vastly different environments and active volcanos. It’s just rad, and I’m familiar with it, and David has never been there, so that’s where I’m going.

I went to The Big Island with my first husband in 2005 and damn it was so beautiful! I have very good memories about delicious food and gorgeous scenery, and lame memories of walking forever on volcanic rock, only to peer at a speck of lava from a mile away. That is not an activity I plan on repeating.

This time, I lucked out and married someone I actually have tons in common with, so travel is painless. I don’t have to worry about nature activities that result in rashes on my delicate skin. No driving by shops wishing I could get out and look. No having to whine for wine. No arguments because my high maintenence ways are annoying. David likes that I’m high maintenance. 🙂

David is all about pleasure so we’ll be achieving Dionysus-level feasting. Shopping, good food, and excessive alcohol. So there will be a lot of laying by the pool, swimming, consuming of substances and the like. Sunbathing and certainly spending lots of time in the hotel room.

As the days left before our vacation march by, David is continuously talking about food. He is so excited to eat. I send him menus to places and he gets enormously excited. Here are some places where I’ve made reservations, trying to find balance between hoity-toity and drinks out coconuts.

Canoe House


Island Lava Java

Da Poke Shack



Anyway. I can’t freaking wait and I will take so many pictures and videos when I’m there! Any thoughts on my upcoming trip to the Kohala Coast? Send me an email! mom@thestonermom.com


The Stoner Mom is a pulled-together, WAHM, SAHM, boo-boo kissing supermom. Most would assume she is not stoned. Most would be quite wrong.

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