Happy Monday bitches! Today is Day 1 of Spring Break for my kiddos. That means for the entire week I will be entertaining children that are accustomed to being in school and outta my hair. Hmm. I don’t have much planned this year. I’ve scheduled in a couple lazy stay-at-home days (today is one of them), a museum day, a play date day, piano lessons every day this week, and the usual Kung Fu twice a week for the oldest. I should probably fit in some visits to the park and some time to make them clean their own rooms.

Last week Kendrick Lamar punched the music world in the face and dropped his much-anticipated album a whole week in advance. And yes, as every critic are their mother will say, it is genius. Today’s track “Untitled” did not make it onto the new album, much to my great disappointment. This début on The Colbert Reports final episode is the only place I have found the song. Like so much of his music, the words he chooses make one stop, think, laugh… Every album he drops is a new story to hear, I pull my chair up, close my eyes, and let Kendrick take me someplace completely foreign to my daily suburban world.

(What did the Asian say?)
A peace of mind
That’s what the Asian said, I need a divine
Intervention was his religion and now it’s a prize
Him believing in Buddha, me believing in God
Asked me what am I doing, he said “taking my time”
Meditation is a must, it don’t hurt if you try
See you thinking too much plus you too full of yourself
Worried about your career, ever think of your health?

(What did the Indian say?)
A piece of land
That’s what the Indian said, I needed demand
Telling me longevity is in the dirt, buy some property first
Profit a better dollar with generational perks
Equity at his best, really, you should invest
These tangible things expire, don’t you expect
Income with so much outcome and yes
Look at my heritage, we blessed

(Now what the black man say?)
A piece of nookie
That’s what the black man said, I needed to push me
To the limit, satisfy my hunger
Do it all for a woman, hair cut to a wool
We like to live in the jungle, like to play in the peach
What you saying to me?
He said “homie, come back to reality for a week”
Nookie is power, cut on a new chick every night
I wouldn’t be prouder, you should allow it

(What the white man say?)
A piece of mines
That’s what the white man wanted when I rhyme
Telling me that he selling me just for $10.99
I go platinum from rapping, I do the company fine
What if I compromise? He said it don’t even matter
Make a million or more, you living better than average
You losing your core following, gaining it all

Put a price on my talent, I hit the bank and withdraw
Hit the bank and withdraw, hit the bank and withdraw
Put myself in the rocket ship and I shot for the stars

Tell me what you accomplished and what he said to the boy
I’mma make you some promises that you just can’t ignore
Your profession anonymous as an artist
I don’t target your market
You ain’t signing your signature when I throw you my wallet
A lot of rappers are giving their demo all in the toilet
World tour, your masters, mortgage, I need ya

I holler, “What you do? What you say?”
I shall enjoy the fruits of my labor if I get freed today

What the black man say?
Tell ’em we don’t die, tell ’em we don’t die
Tell ’em we don’t die, we multiply
Tell ’em we don’t die, tell ’em we don’t die
Tell ’em we don’t die, we multiply
Tell ’em we don’t die, tell ’em we don’t die
Tell ’em we don’t die, we multiply
Tell ’em we don’t die, tell ’em we don’t die
Tell ’em we don’t die, we multiply


The Stoner Mom is a pulled-together, WAHM, SAHM, boo-boo kissing supermom. Most would assume she is not stoned. Most would be quite wrong.