This is probably going to out me as a total geek, but this song makes me tear up. Yes. I know. But here is why.
I fell in love with this old album around the time I was seriously considering divorce. The midlife crisis days. I was dragging my feet on it, and people were waiting for me to make a decision. I was being pursued quite aggressively by not one but two older men, men I had known for years and loved, in some way or another. And maybe it sounds bizarre, but every day hurt. I had a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach that got heavier every morning. Every day felt like being pulled apart, all by people I loved.
It’s a strange thing to be loved by suitors you don’t belong to. To have these men in the wings. It’s flattering, but when you are the type that wants to please everyone, it can be a constant reminder of disappointing someone.
And really, that sums up my midlife crisis perfectly. Knowing that to pursue who and what I wanted, I was going to disappoint a lot of people. disappointing people is kryptonite to a woman.
My escape from that feeling was rap music, and Wiz Khalifa’s début album was basically the soundtrack to it all. Trying to feel free again, young again, ready to make the decisions again, the right ones this time. To take a different path. To pick the one that really loved me.
It’s your anniversary isn’t it
And your man ain’t acting right
So you packin’ your Damier luggage up callin’ my cell phone, try and catch a flight
You know one thing straight, I’ll be there girl whenever you call me
When you at home that’s your man, soon as you land you say that’s all me
But shit ain’t all G with him no more, you ain’t entertained
Since I meet you a couple months ago you ain’t been the same
Not sayin I’m the richest man alive but I’m in the game
As long as you keep it 100 I’mma spend this change