High By the Beach

Happy Monday my stoner friends! This is my kid-free Monday so I will be spending my day working, working, working. I’ve got posts to write, emails to send, weed to photograph and podcasts to record!

I am also trying to plan a honeymoon, three years after we eloped. Sigh. Sneaking away sans kids for a few days has forever seemed an impossibility. Even if we manage to get the children squared away with their other parent, we still have our even more spoiled and precious fur children. Max is pretty easy to board, plus we are able to watch him on webcams during our vacations. But Katya? I don’t know how cat owners handle vacations. I can have someone come watch the house and feed her, but unfortunately Katya is one of those animals that needs companionship. To leave her in a house alone, without her St. Bernard brother, is a terribly cruel for her. So I find myself searching things like “luxury cat hotel Denver”, and “how to bring a cat on vacation”, and “can you sneak a cat into Hawaii”.

Oh but to go on a Honeymoon finally! As a family we go to Texas every summer to be with my parents, and though relaxing, it’s less than romantic for David and I then say, a trip alone. The only time David and I have been on a solo out-of-town overnight has been Vail (same state, not far, and slightly business related) and Kansas City, MO (not very… posh). So, 2016 shall be, the year we finally just do it and plan a freaking vacation.

Last month I was pretty certain we were going to Mexico. I had settled on Puerto Vallarta, had found all sorts of adults-only resorts, but then I started hearing different news accounts of kidnappings in Mexico. One of my favorite podcasts, BBC Documentaries, had a whole show on kidnappings last week, with a major point being, you don’t have to be rich to be kidnapped in Mexico. Well. That did it for me. Once they start kidnapping the poor I know I need to avoid the area.

And so I have come full circle and settled on the location that I had originally written off as too expensive for now. Hawaii. This summer I am going to Hawaii for a few amazing nights with the man of my dreams. I’m going to pack two extremely tiny bikinis for each day and spend a week in the lap of luxury. I’m going to rub my body with black lava mud, I’m going to skinny dip, I’m going to get entirely too drunk, I’m going to get massaged outdoors by the ocean, and I am going to go on ZERO hikes.

We’re going to The Big Island, Hawaii. I’ve been there before, stayed at Hapuna Beach, driven around the entire island, did botanic gardens, visited the volcano state park. This time I plan on not leaving the resort at all. I literally want nothing more than to be alone with him, to be pampered with him, to tell him how much I love him, and to be fed ridiculous amounts of fattening food while quenching my thirst with colorful cocktails. I also plan on buying a grass skirt and coconut bra.

Anyway, back to reality, today’s song is one of my many favorite Lana Del Rey Songs. Unfortunately I am in love with almost every song she has released, so calling one a “favorite” has little meaning. But this song (and video) in particular I love because it has convinced me that Lana must play GTA. California stilt house? Check. Pacific Ocean? Check. Buzzard helicopter? Check. Annoyed hottie with railgun? Check.

All I wanna do is get high by the beach
Get high by the beach, get high
All I wanna do is get by by the beach
Get by baby, baby, bye, bye
The truth is I never
Bought into your bullshit
When you would pay tribute to me
‘Cause I know that
All I wanted to do was get high by the beach
Get high baby, baby, bye, bye

God I love that woman.


Motivational Monday (sometimes Tuesday hehe) is The Stoner Mom’s weekly music post dedicated to introducing moms to some non-dorky jams. Or maybe it’s just an excuse for The Stoner Mom to listen to her favorite jams? In 2015 I highlighted my favorite rap songs. This year I’m covering my all-time favorite songs.


The Stoner Mom is a pulled-together, WAHM, SAHM, boo-boo kissing supermom. Most would assume she is not stoned. Most would be quite wrong.

Comments are closed.