So, gaming. In the last year I have taken up an interesting new hobby, playing video games. Yes, at the ripe age of 30 I played through GTAV and haven’t been able to put down the controller since. Now I play on Xbox One, all set up in my bedroom, grownups only, I play Titanfall nearly every day- like a fifteen minute stress reliever. On weekends I like to wake and bake and play Titanfall for way too long, before the day officially begins.
Here is the premise of Titanfall- it’s all multiplayer, meaning you are always playing with other real humans in the world. In a future world encompassing vast solar systems, a militia is rising up against a powerful governmental/corporation/military entity. I think. In this world you are a Pilot, an elite fighter rank with an array of weapons, tactical abilities, and a jump pack so you can do amazingly fun maneuvers like wall run. As a Pilot you also have a Titan- a huge robot warrior-thing that you sit inside and control. When your Titan is destroyed in combat you eject and get to run around wildly taking out enemies. So basically; wall-run, kill, run really fast, turn invisible and see through walls, bang bang bang, be a freaking giant ROBOT and shoot shoot, punch punch, stomp stomp stomp. It’s fast and challenging and super fun. It’s awesome.
I get a huge kick out of listening to the other players, always male, young, and foul-mouthed. The voyeuristic pleasure in hearing guys hanging out together, or hearing little kids shrieking and laughing (kids WAY too young to be playing Titanfall). The kids are always during the weekend and are as sweet and funny as can be. At night when I play, headphones on and husband asleep next to me, the racists and the weirdos come out, muttering their insults into my headset. Once a particularly yucky fellow discovered that a player was female and started on the filthiest woman bashing rant, I couldn’t believe it. He probably didn’t realize there was a naked, sexy babe listening with her hand over her mouth.
I never, ever, would have thought I would be playing video games. I never thought I’d have a TV in my bedroom! The things I used to be self-conscious about, I swear. Life Pt 2 where I am free to be who I am, has taught me that doing things for my pleasure is totally okay. The anxiety I used to have over whether or not I was perceived as Super Wife/Mom. Now I smoke weed and play first person shooters and when I pick up the kids from school, always an hour early for the best parking spot, I am relaxed and happy and ready to fucking ENJOY them.