What if I told you smoking weed can make you a better parent? It’s no secret I believe that pot gives mothers super powers, and I know what I’m talking about. Having done the parenting thing both ways (stick up ass method and stoner mom method) I speak as a stoned authority on this.
A Jolt of Energy to Rival your Favorite Cappuccino
Getting stoned along with our morning stimulant is a first world luxury. There is nothing as soothing, calming, and yet energizing, as a morning combo of pot and coffee. One of my earliest discoveries in the stoner world was the “wake and bake” session. Typically around 10am, the pace of the morning slows down enough to really enjoy that first bowl of the day. A clean bong, finely ground herb, and a cup of freshly ground coffee. Armed with these accessories I tackle the days work, be it of the house and hearth or creative or professional work. I lose track of bong rips while I write and plan or scrub and clean. The idea that marijuana makes everyone sleepy and dumb is really a misconception. Yes, it sure can make you sleepy and dumb, sometimes that’s exactly what you need to counteract pain. But the majority of ganja that I consume is straight up sativa, or a sativa dominant hybrid. These strains not only give you a real energy boost; they also provide focus, creativity, and a deep thought.
Become that Mom- Except For Real This Time
I’ve always been an efficient mother. However, I never felt as efficient as a mom as I have felt as a stoner mom. Like artists and weed, mothers and marijuana just kinda go well together. Who needs energy more than a mom? Who needs a chill pill more than a mom? Lessening the stress and tension of the planet’s most worrying species, it is quite literally making the world a better place. If every mother on the planet was a stoner, how would the world change? If the world’s nurturers are free of anxiety, tension and hostility, wouldn’t they only do better at their jobs? And so on, and so forth, for generations to come.
You Can Set a Better Eating Example
If you are a mom of young children, you probably exist on what I call the “stay at home mom” diet. It consists of sandwich crusts and Starbucks, with occasional kid snack leftovers thrown in. We all know it’s not healthy, but I know many moms out there don’t eat. I’m one of them. So is the BFF. Too busy to prepare something for oneself while preparing healthy, perfectly balanced meals to the little ones. There are days when it hits 3:00pm and I haven’t had a single thing in my stomach other than a tall latte. This is where the weed comes in.
You’ve probably heard of the munchies. Maybe you’ve even experienced them. A lot of marijuana strains make people want to eat. Like, REALLY eat. Now, maybe the stoner of times long gone would shove Taco Bell down their throat, but today? Millennials aren’t like that, they don’t eat Taco Bell, and they certainly aren’t feeding it to their kids. In an age where rumors that Target will discontinue the orange mac n cheese abound, when healthy options are literally everywhere, the munchies really aren’t that bad of a thing. My kitchen is always loaded with healthy basics, specifically tons of fresh fruit. So when the munchies set in, it really is possible to control what I feast on. Imagine sitting down at lunch to a huge salad or some shit, and enjoying every bite of it in front of your children. That’s what a stoner mom could be modeling, eating their greens with the gusto only munchies can provide.
Conversely, some strains can suppress the appetite significantly, and therefore help control ones diet. I’m not really sure how healthy that method of weight control is, but I don’t think it’s a bad thing to replace an unhealthy snack session with a bowl of weed instead.
A Connection to Youth
Look at me! I’m no old woman! I know, I am blessed with good pacific islander genes that make me somewhat impervious to early aging. But as a woman who has only ever been interested in older men, I can say with authority that there is a big difference between being old, and seeming old. Weed is a youthful drug. It makes you joyful and teaches you to find humor in everything. Spending a lot of time like that tends to make a person more relaxed all around, even when stone cold sober. I’ve always been obsessive about music, but it wasn’t until I started toking up that I really fell in love with rap and developed an appreciation for EDM. Pot makes you silly, makes you roll around with your kids on the floor, makes you come up with hilarious stories for Barbies to reenact. It makes you go outside and look at the sky, makes you see the wonder and the beauty in the things you forgot. It makes you fuck like a wild animal. This is youth. This is youthful living, and it’s great.
Have a Personal Hobby
I’m a strong believer that mothers need to have a damn hobby. It’s very easy to forget oneself once you begin living for someone else. Cannabis lends itself to so many different hobbies. Gardening takes on a new science. You know you’re talking to a stoner when they start chatting you up about crossbreeding plants and making clones. More interested in social stuff? Stoners are the most social lot! Take a joint out on a night downtown and everyone wants to be your friend. Hobbies from gorgeous blown glass, cold pressed oils, new technology, leading health advances, baking, cooking, photography, art. The best thing about a hobby in the cannabis world is that everything is so new, and changing every day. It’s the wild west and it’s a blast to be a part of something.
Get Along Better with your Spouse
From crazy fun date nights to getting juices flowing in the bedroom, marijuana is a marriages best friend. Got an anxious wife who is immune to your seductions? Weed. Husband acts like a dick when drinking? Weed. Can’t agree on what to do with extra income? Weed. Seriously.
Sleep Like a Baby- wait, no, cause babies don’t sleep. Sleep Like a New Mom Given an Empty Luxury Suite
Have an Indica, go to sleep, and get up the next morning and tell me you didn’t love the fuck out of that night of sleep. What is the ONE THING that mom’s need more of. No matter where you go or who you ask, a resounding answer among those who nurture the next generation. WE NEED SLEEP. Get a mom on a regular sleeping schedule and you’ve got a mother who is more active, engaged, and in love with being a mom.
It’s long time we threw out those stupid misconceptions that any mother who smokes pot is a bad mom. Weed is medicine, and when used responsibly weed can make you a far more patient, present, and nurturing mother.