Sooo… it’s probably time I confessed my extreme love of Britney Spears.

My crushes on women are always about the misunderstood, maligned, and extraordinarily strong. Marie Antoinette, Anne Boleyn, Hillary Clinton, Madonna. I don’t know guys, I’m stoned af right now. But seriously, nothing really compares to my love of Britney Spears.

Brit-Brit is only a couple of years older than me, so when she was a teenaged media firestorm, I was a teenaged #1 fan. I thought she was gorgeous, adorable, could dance, whatever. I saw her terrible movie in the theater with like-minded girlfriends and followed her life and career the way people did with Princess Diana.

And then she went and married that one dude… and then two children in quick succession, just like me, and then. Mental breakdown. You remember. You know what I’m talking about. She went completely off the deep end a few years before I went off the deep end, and I can’t help but feel that she was publicly mocked at the height of mental illness. And no one talked about it, but post-partum depression is a fucking bitch you know? And god fucking forbid you go through it in the public eye. Birthing two children one after the other is HARD on a woman of any age or status.

Anyway. Because she’s BRITNEY SPEARS she totally dominated that breakdown, and made it her bitch. When If U Seek Amy came out I was only beginning to taste the misery that came with the beige suburban lifestyle, and I distinctly remember being envious of her balance of freakiness and domestic perfection in this video.



When Brit Brit was 32 she dropped Work B**ch, and at the time I was like, totally mid-mental breakdown. Just turned 30, breakdown, divorce. But I saw Brit Brit, strutting like a supermodel and remembered where she had been just a few years ago, a young and ill mother under extraordinary pressures. And there I was, sad little housewife, crying YES. YES!!!!

Say what you want, this woman can WORK and inspire. To me modern Brit Brit is all about being the ultimate single mom celebrity. Work B**ch is such an awesome track for dancing around your house in your underpants, cleaning supplies in tow. Turn this mess on when you’ve got a deadline and need to get motivated.

If this post made you gag, wait until I get to Lana del Rey. I TOLD YOU I WAS A GIRLY GIRL!


The Stoner Mom is a pulled-together, WAHM, SAHM, boo-boo kissing supermom. Most would assume she is not stoned. Most would be quite wrong.

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