19 things that could happen when combining sex and weed

On Stoned Sex:

Of particular interest to the married stoner, the parent stoner, the middle-aged stoner, is how sex and weed go together. Or do they? Today’s article will give you an idea of the many paths your stoned sexual encounters might take. It probably won’t answer any questions though, because the only way to know what sex and weed do to you, is to jump right in and give it a try.

It is important that you attempt your first stoned sex session with somebody you trust. There are a ton of factors that affect how a stoner session might go. First, you have the complexities of the users personal make-up- everyone is affected differently. Next, there is the myriad of ways one can consume the weed. Eating it is more potent than smoking it for instance. Then you have the marijuana itself. Not just sativa vs. indica, but genealogy, growing conditions, etc. What would be great would be more research. Anyway, my point is that any review you read will not necessarily be accurate. Because of this, it is important that you attempt your first stoned sex session with somebody you trust. If you end up having some sort of paranoid breakdown, you want it with someone who won’t make you feel worse. Conversely, be careful not to judge your stoned partner. If the wife passed-out in suspended bliss by your actions, she won’t be the most energetic of partners at that time.

19 Things That Could Happen When Combining Sex and Weed

  1. A touch on your skin might feel infinitely better than usual. Weed heightens your senses. Lips pressed against you may send you into orgasmic bliss. A hand on your throat might become your absolute new favorite thing. His hands on your hips, the small of her tummy. The pleasure areas on your body become beacons for your partner.
  2. Normal conversation turns hot. When two people who are great together get high together over conversation, a new level of sexual tension and heat may emerge. You’ll trade sexy innuendo, inhibitions disappear, and your very words can hook your partner for life.
  3. Or you could start talking. And never stop. Until you’re bawling.
  4. Uninhibited confidence is a major plus for the average stoner mom. What woman doesn’t have some secret awful hangup about her body that is keeping her from doing all the naughty things she really wants to do? Weed makes that fear disappear.
  5. There is a chance that in the middle of attempting to get busy, your brain may decide to focus on everything, a little too much. Avoid strains that cause paranoia like the plague. Paranoia and sexy times don’t mix.
  6. Some weed strains give an intense energy boost which can show itself in major jitters and jumpiness. In other words, you may get a very shaky hand-job.
  7. Heightened orgasms for the woman. Even if you consider yourself an orgasm pro, some weed can get a drowsy, sultry mind tripping hard. Bring in the right partner and new categories of orgasm are born. For instance, the internal vaginal orgasm that some women find impossible to achieve. Or the multiple-orgasm, when orgasms come in such waves of regularity that they seem one big orgasm.
  8. It may also be easier to achieve orgasm. Mood affects pleasure. There are times I’ve been super high and so turned on that kisses on my back are enough to send me over the edge.
  9. … or maybe you just won’t cum. Ever. It might all be too sensitive, too good, and ultimately mega-frustrating when you just can’t get there.
  10. Your man might last forever. For some that’s probably a welcome change. For moms, it might be an unwelcome change. Moms are busy, and we like to get on with the day, thank you very much. Have an understanding that not everyone might get there in the time allowed.
  11. There is also the possibility that your man will be so turned-on from being high, or so turned-on by you and your naughty antics while you’re high, that he’ll get there prematurely. Somewhat flattering, but ultimately unwelcome.
  12. Cottonmouth means extremely dry mouth, and it makes your breath smell like ass. See this, and go use mouthwash.
  13. After a day of  promising your partner all sorts of naughty fun that evening, there is still the chance that you’ll get stoned and fall asleep, drooling and snoring loudly. I must confess this has happened to me more than once.
  14. Distinct from weed-induced sleepiness is weed-induced laziness, which is just as annoying to your sexual partner. Greed and selfishness may also come into play. Maybe it just feels so good all you can do is lay there. Tell your partner not to take it as an insult when you refuse to get on top, or hold that position, or you know, move.
  15. Sex can sober the stoned person up, so don’t be mad if after indulging in heated, stoned sex, you come-to enough to realize that you did not want to do what you just did. Humans are known for making sexual mistakes when inebriated. Don’t do that to yourself!
  16. Stoned sex can bring you together in new awesome ways. Really. Think of the times you’ve been high and really connected with a friend. It can be magic, a moment remembered forever. Sex while stoned can produce the same feeling, with someone you absolutely adore. Having amazing, uninhibited, joy filled sex will do amazing things for a marriage.
  17. Sex on a strong sativa can transform you into a porn star. Energy and focus that will have you performing like a professional. WHO DOESN’T WANT THAT?!
  18. Edibles are unpredictable! They can deliver the most intense, body-relaxing, orgasmic night of fucking ever, or make you want to spend your evening sobbing in between throwing up in a trash can. Edibles are powerful, you need to be experienced with them before attempting to use them as an aphrodisiac.
  19. Weed is a godsend for the anxious. Nothing makes you less ready to receive a good fucking like anxiety does. Pick a strain known for its anti-anxiety properties, give it a try in bed, and once you’re overtaken by the giggles, have your partner swoop in.

I love using marijuana as an aphrodisiac of sorts. Husband has accepted the routine of patiently waiting as I sit at my vanity and take bong rips. My favorite thing about the way weed enhances my sex life, is its ability to make my insecurities slip away. Giving my husband a worry-free me is the best gift I can give him. Frankly, he takes care of the rest. 😉


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The Stoner Mom is a pulled-together, WAHM, SAHM, boo-boo kissing supermom. Most would assume she is not stoned. Most would be quite wrong.