In this episode, we tackle one of the toughest subjects to talk about with your kids: your cannabis use. If you are one of the many parents who chooses to use marijuana responsibly, then you can likely see how important this topic is to you, and yet feel paralyzed when thinking about how to explain it to your kids. Breaking the law, civil injustice, and real-world repercussions of cannabis use are just some of the topics we cover in this faux conversation with our future kids.

Explaining your (Illegal) Cannabis Use to Older Kids

The other day my oldest made a horrid mess on the basement carpet with black, nonwashable paint. This stuff doesn’t happen that often here, and for whatever reason, her reaction was to not tell me and to instead hide in her closet crying.

I cannot tell you how much it distressed me to see her like that. I was disappointed that she hadn’t just told me, effectively lying through omission. But mostly I found myself worried that this was a sign that she won’t find it easy to come to me when she messes up. And to me, that is a huge problem.

We got through the incident easily enough. After we talked together for a long time, she helped me clean it up. More than once during our talk, I told her that the things she is afraid to tell me later in life are going to be so much more important and critical that she talk to me about. I say things like “a parents job is not to punish a kid that does a bad thing. A parents job is to teach them and help them get through their mistakes.” you are never on your own. As long as you are in this house you can approach every single crisis in your life with the support of your family.

I was a kid who didn’t talk to their parents. I told them nothing about who I was, what I loved, my interests or my passions, my deepest fears or insecurities. As a result, I went through every trying childhood experience on my own. Including sexual trauma. This is my greatest fear, that my children will try to navigate a terrible situation on their own. A child who cannot speak sets a foundation for childhood sexual abuse, for lifelong depression, substance abuse, and toxic relationships.

So I’m obviously a big believer in teaching my kids everything I can, before they are out of my influence. That’s what today’s episode is really about at its core. It’s about teaching our kids the realities of the world in which they live. It’s about being an honest parent, but not an enabling parent. It’s about teaching them social skills that will help them navigate difficult choices on their own.

In this episode we talk about:

why it is so important to talk honestly to our kids about cannabis
what I have told my oldest about cannabis
Harry Potter and its commentary on civil liberties, racism, and purity. But we don’t talk about it very intelligently.
acquiring the cahones to talk to your kids about tough stuff
talk out our feelings about this subject and how it is an inherently difficult one
why we would prefer our future child experiment with pot and not alcohol
the difference between enabling and educating
strategies you can give your child to help them assess and handle their personal safety out in the world
talking to kids about the history of cannabis law
talking to kids about civil disobedience, minors rights, and the legal consequences of their illegal experimentation
how everything is people. Every organization is subject to corruption.
If The Stoner Mom gets too wordy and ranty to comprehend, I have a pretty succinct summary starting at 33:57
Our hatred of 1910-30 music. Sorry.

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