Happy Monday my dear stoners! It’s MLK Day and I’m spending my day alone, child and husband free. Oh the joy for the introvert when the house is empty! A steady stream of podcasts and shows while I do everything I want to do but can’t during the week. Sometimes words don’t work though, and must be beats instead. That is when I put on my favorite stoner mom jams. In 2015 I shared my favorite rap songs every Monday, culminating in a great and foul-mouthed playlist to turn on the moment the kids jump out of the minivan and you can drive your pajama wearing ass back home to solitude and coffee.

This year I’m doing the same, but rather than stick to a specific genre, I’ll just be sharing my all time favorite songs. If I do it right there should be 52 favorite tracks by the end of the year. I will be keeping rap and classical tracks off this list.

So far in 2016 I shared my absolute favorite song Idioteque and my divorce theme song, Shake it Out. Today I’m sharing Say it Aint So, a song I’ve been singing since I was ELEVEN YEARS OLD. Being a child of the 90’s I am well-versed in all things emo, including those moments when emo went mainstream, this song being one of many. I remember being sent alone on summer vacation to Ohio, and somehow managing to sneak into a music store to buy Weezer’s blue album on CASSETTE. Like, that was the only time in the year I thought I could get away with it. And looking back as a parent, there is absolutely ZERO on that album that could be considered questionable, and yet I was always so afraid of being in trouble. *eyeroll*

I used to have such a thing for boys like this. Skinny, emotional boys in glasses, awkward boys that could play the guitar. A youthful face and sinewy arms used to make my heart flutter.

Overtime my taste in men and music evolved into something both more manly and grown up. Cue bravado pumped rap artists and my brute of a second husband.

Damn. My sex life totally correlates with my history of music choice! Damn.

Anyway. Down to brass tacks.

Planning for the Week

My current spread had an unfortunate accident between coffee and myself. Honestly, I thought somehow the coffee stains make the spread even better. This is life bitch, and we’re slogging through it. It ain’t always gonna be perfect bullet journals with adorable hand drawn illustrations. Sometimes we yell “fuck”in front of our kids on accident, and spill hot liquid all over ourselves. It’s not like I’m gonna go out and get a new day planner!

This is a typical short week for me. On what I call “long” weeks I get the girls on Monday instead of Tuesday.

Planning my week is so crucial to my mental sanity. Not kidding. I’ve done this adult thing long enough to understand that we can’t remember shit. Everything must be written down! And it’s no use being written down if it’s not organized or you can’t find it.

Every week I take the time to schedule the next five days. Now, whether I stay on schedule is another story, but having a plan does at least give you something to fall back on when you find yourself off track.

Menu Planning

Menu planning is so essential for me, otherwise I am an absolute mess at dinner time. I am very lucky that my husband David enjoys cooking. Not so much after work, but on the weekends? Let’s just say I haven’t cooked on the weekend since the day I married him.

This week I don’t have much planned in the dinner department:

Monday: No kids, night in. Man Chili… or steak?
Tuesday: Chicken Parmesan, buttered pasta, spinach
Wednesday: Homemade Cheesy Pizza. Make a big lovely salad and breadsticks.
Thursday: Fried Pork Chops, white rice, broccoli <— my husband cooks this meal and it is my daughters favorite food of all time!
Friday: Order-in

The Stoner Mom Cooks Cannabutter

This cannabutter recipe is non-messy and can be used to make some wickedly potent edibles at home. I give credit to Cheri Speaks for a perfect slow-cooker recipe!

I chose this recipe as my first foray into cannabis cooking, because it’s seamless and the most parent-friendly. No boiling pots on the stove top for hours. This is the clean, quick and easy method that I instantly knew would resonate with parents.

The Time

This is a slow-cooker recipe so it can take anywhere from 4 to 12 hours depending on what you’re going for.  A good technique would be to let the cannabutter cook over night in the slow cooker, and then cool/freeze during the day. This should result in your finished cannabutter by evening, just in time for you to whip up some magical cookies for fun times with the spouse.

Materials

• A crock pot. Size isn’t important though I think a smaller crock pot might have some advantages.
• Fine strainer. I used cheesecloth.
• Container for your finished cannabutter to set in.
• 4 cups water
• 2 sticks organic butter
• 1/4 oz cannabis. You can use the actual flower, ie: the weed that we smoke, or you can use “shake”- the trimming and leaves that are removed from the buds during harvesting. I am using shake from my own personal home grow, which is a really cost-effective way to maximize your harvest.

Directions

In a slowcooker, add 4 cups water, 2 sticks butter and all your cannabis. Put on the lid and cook anywhere from 4-18 hours. The longer you cook the butter the more potent it will be, so don’t be so quick to set the timer to 4 hours.

When done, strain the mixture into your container, separating the plant matter from the rest of the butter mixture. It’s super hot, so use a large spoon to press the liquid out of the plant material. Gloves are highly recommended. 

Chill in fridge for 6+ hours. I ended up chilling mine for several hours longer than this. Basically we are just waiting for the cannabutter to set. When it’s ready most will be solid, and you can pour out the water/liquid collecting on the top. Done!

Store cannabutter in the fridge or freeze it, but take all precautions in a household with kids. Keep things clearly labeled so you don’t accidentally make pot brownies for the PTA.